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October
14, 2006 – Well, this week flew past as they all seem to do! I went to the temple with a young man from
our ward on Thursday night who is preparing to go on a mission to Boise, Idaho. I remember right after my Grace was born,
his parents came to visit and bring us dinner. While they were there they told us they were expecting him. Now he’s
over six feet tall and leaving on a mission. Did I already say that time flies? I watched the Sweetwater Rescue DVD while I was in Utah,
There was so much to learn from those tragic events, but the thing that stood out to me was the comment that the men
faded first on the trip across the plains by handcart in adverse weather conditions. Now, you might think this means that
women are stronger, but the point was made that the reason the men died off so quickly (often just from exhaustion and exposure)
was because they were trying to carry too much of the load to spare their wives and children. They didn’t eat enough
and pushed the handcarts way beyond their physical ability. So many women would wake up in the morning and find their husbands
dead beside them – literally worn out. That has made me think about two things – 1) the need to care for
ourselves and 2) the need to shore up the men in our lives. My father, Wayne Brannon. When I was thirteen I flew from Colorado where we were living to visit my grandparents
in Alabama. It was an incredible experience to get to fly on a plane unaccompanied. My father was still in the Army and we
had lots of kids and my mother was sick – so money was always tight. I knew that my trip represented a sacrifice and
I appreciated it. When we got to the airport to buy my ticket the man at the counter asked how old I was. My father said,
“Thirteen.” The man said, “If she’s twelve, I can sell you the ticket for half price.” I understood
that the man was offering my father the chance to save a lot of money. However, my father is an honest man. He said, “But
she’s thirteen.” And he paid full-price for the ticket. That’s a lesson I’ve remembered ever since. We all understand the importance of service to others.
It’s what the Lord did and we want to follow His example. But in the process of doing for others we need to make sure
we eat properly, exercise, and go to the doctor for annual checkups. Often we feel like taking time out for ‘ourselves’
is selfish. But like the men who died quickly on the trek west – if we don’t take care of our health
we might leave our families behind to fend for themselves. I have been blessed to have good men in my
life. Not perfect men, certainly, but men who try. I’d like to share a few short experiences I’ve had with some
of them. My Alabama grandfather, Julian Brannon, took me riding out to the farm when I was a little
girl. As we were driving along I thought of the times I’d seen an adult open the door and close it more securely while
the car was moving and decided to give it a try. I grabbed the door handle and pushed it open. I didn’t anticipate that
the air rushing past the moving car would whip around and jerk the door open wide – with my hand still clutching the
handle – but that’s exactly what happened. I went flying toward the open door, my young life flashing before my
eyes. But a milli-second before disaster – my grandfather’s hand reached out and pulled me back to safety. I had
never been so grateful to anyone before. My Utah grandfather, John Walton. He called me ‘chicken’.
I’m not sure why. I remember shopping at a hardware store with him in Salt Lake when I was five. It was right before
Father’s Day and while there I asked if I could buy something for my father. He suggested a hammer – which was
about the coolest gift I’d ever given anyone. We found a hammer and walked toward the registers. Belatedly I realized
that I might not have enough money. I pulled a handful of change out of my pocket and showed him my resources. He selected
a nickel from the assortment and said that should do it. It was many years before I realized that my grandfather had quietly
subsidized the purchase of the hammer. The last time I spoke to him was on the phone just a few weeks before he died. He was
very ill and uncharacteristically aggitated and sometimes even hostile. But when they put him on the phone he said, “Hi
Chicken.” It was a tender mercy. Then over the weekend we found out that none of Butch's family can come on Thursday. We just saw them
all at his uncle's funeral on the 1st and we'll see them again around Christmas - so it's not too bad. But I hate that they
won't get to see my painted walls. I'll probably have painted again by the next time they visit... Again,
Happy Thanksgiving! Eat much, count your blessings, and enjoy the company of those you love. And if you get a chance
- read a good book!But in addtion to this nice feature, as a writer I'm blessed with the ability
to use hindsight - which we all know is 20/20! In life we reach a point and think - things would be so much better if only
I had (or he had or they had) done such-and-such differently. We can't go back and change things, so we deal with the present.
But as a writer, I can reach the end of a book and think - it would be much better if that character did this or that plot
line needs to be eliminated completely. And through this process I'm able to 'perfect' or at least improve the book. I find
that very theraputic - however I wouldn't apply it to my life even if I could. Partly because I know (even if I don't LIKE
it) that we grow more from our trials and mistakes than we do from the good times and good decisions. But mostly I wouldn't
change anything because it might mess up today - and for better or worse - I want my husband and my children and my life exactly
as they are. Any change I made might ruin something that's good. So I'll keep my life - problems, challenges, blessings and
all! My husband,
Butch Green. Eighteen years ago we were still living in our trailer, we had 4 young children, one income and no
money. Every year on our birthdays my grandmother sent a $20 check. It was something you could count on like the rising
of the sun. On the 3rd of February the birthday card arrived with the check inside. I cashed it for him and remember
him putting it into his otherwise bare wallet .He said he might use the money to take the older kids to the circus. Or
he might buy some new work shoes. Or maybe he’d just buy pizza for dinner one night. I was Relief Society president
at the time and Butch was in the Bishopric. There was a family in the ward who had been receiving Church assistance and the
Bishop had assigned them to work at the Storehouse in Atlanta. We stopped by the night before they were to go to give
them some paperwork that they were supposed to take with them. While we were there the wife said that they didn’t
have money to buy gas for the trip. I was a little annoyed. I wondered why they had waited so late to mention this. If they’d
told us sooner we could have arranged with the Bishop to get them some gas money. But Butch just reached into his wallet and
pulled out his birthday money. He handed it to the sister - who had no idea of the sacrifice that was being made.
No trip to the circus, no new work shoes, no pizza. But in that moment I saw my husband’s divine potential more clearly
than ever before. Please take care of yourselves and the men in your lives. While we can make it alone, as many sisters
did on the journey to Salt Lake, it’s so much better if we can make the journey together. Think of a special experience
you’ve had with the men you love and the next time they do something annoying (or worse) remember their divine potential.
Encourage them and keep pushing forward with them. Eventually they’ll become the men you want them to be. October 11, 2006 - My trip to Utah
was WONDERFUL. It was great to see so many of my family and friends. Butch and the boys did okay here - but it has taken me
a few days to get back into my regular routine. And I'm finally in a mood to WRITE! After months of not really being able
to I am deep into the adventures of Savannah McLaughlin and Philip Dane set right here in Alabama on Turkey Creek (well, mostly).
Now for a report on my
trip - Friday Emily and I arrived at the Salt Lake airport and picked up our rental car. I was supposed to get a sub-compact
but all they had was an HHR (similar to a PT Cruiser) which I would not have chosen but enjoyed driving. We went straight
to a signing at the Redwood Store and I had such a fun experience there. Last fall I was signing at the Redwood store and
a man with a lovely English accent asked my friend (and Seagull employee) Ann to help him find two books that his wife had
asked him to bring home to her in London. Ann vigorously attempted to get him to buy Hearts in Hiding. He explained that his
finances were limited and his wife had given him two specific requests and he really didn't to return to London without them.
Finally Ann told him if he bought Hearts in Hiding and didn't like it - she' d buy it back from him (is she great or what?).
The poor man gave in at that point and bought one of the books his wife had requested and Hearts in Hiding. I've wondered
about that man many times during the past year. Well, this year when I got to the Redwood store, guess who was waiting for
me? Not only the husband but his sweet wife! She has now read (and owns) all of my books and it was such a thrill to meet
her (and such a relief to see that they were still happily married). After that great experience, we went to the Holiday Inn Downtown and checked in for
the MMD. For the reception I wore a dress I'd bought on Ebay that was too small (I meant to diet a little harder - what can
I say). So I was a little uncomfortable (but it serves me right). I met so many nice people at the reception - some I had
met before and many new faces. My 'western' children arrived along with my sister and her family and assorted western cousins.
My only regret is that I couldn't visit with them because I had to leave so that Miss Eugenia could take my ticket. The room
(like my dress) was too small but the incomparable Kerry Blair managed to overcome all obstacles and provide us all with an
evening to remember. Miss Eugenia solved the murders (all three of them thank you very much) and won the Best Character Award
(my first trophy). It was a lot of fun. On Saturday morning Emily went with me to a signing at Taylorsville (always fun). Then we went to see my great-aunt
Marian and her husband Stan and their children and grandchildren. It was the first time I've seen them since my grandmother's
funeral and we had a wonderful visit. I couldn't stay as long as I would have liked to because I had to get Emily to Provo,
check Laura and Josh into a hotel and then get back to West Jordan for my next signing (I made it with almost a minute to
spare). West Jordan was gearing up for their non-ladies night (Seagull is trying to get away from Ladies Night on Conference
Sat since they now do the Celebrating Womanhood on the night of the RS broadcast - but people are used to celebrating womanhood
at ladies night too!). I had fun there and then raced to University Mall for DB's Ladies Night there. My daughters (and poor
Josh) met me there and Laura won a book (she was almost as excited as the very enthusiastic announcer). On Sunday we had to say goodbye to Josh and Laura
(computer frown) and then Jamie, Grace, Emily and I went to the afternoon sesesion of conference. There are no words to describe
how wonderful it was. Then on Monday I started early and had
signings at Bountiful, Clinton, Ogden and Logan. I got back to Provo about 8:30 (after stopping at Wal-Mart to buy groceries
to make my kids dinner since I never get to cook for them anymore). It was raining when I got to the apartment complex so
I parked in the lot - knowing I'd need to move to the street before it got much later. I cooked and cleaned up and Grace and
her roommates went to the hot tub and when they finally got back I asked Grace to follow me to the street so she could drive
me back. When I got outside - my rented HHR was GONE!!!! I had been towed. I thought it was because I was parked in the lot
but Grace said they usually don't tow until after midnight. We called the number and drove across town to meet the unpleasant
young man who had towed my car. He said I was double parked (my tire barely over the line) and that because parking was so
limited they couldn't allow the slightest amount of leniency in these cases. I explained about the rain and that it was dark
and told him I just lined up with the car beside me and didn't check to be sure I was between the lines. He said there were
no cars on either side of me (which pretty much blew his 'shortage of parking' argument and basically called me a liar). I
had to pay him $100 and was furious. I guess it bothered me so much because I'm not a student, I didn't know that the
lines are very close together - causing 'double parking' to be a problem. He knew it was a rental car (most likely NOT a student)
and I'd only been there a little over an hour - so it wasn't like I was causing a huge problem. Once I explained he should
have waived or at least reduced my fine. Anyway, I complained the next day at the apartment office and the amount was
reduced to $50 - which is still ridiculous but better than $100. I feel like the apartment owners are allowing the
towing companies to terrorize their residents (who play PLENTY to live there). And when they get towed or booted - who pays?
The poor parents who are already paying an arm and a leg to put their kids through school. Anyway, all that pretty much ruined
my Monday evening! On
Wednesday Emily and I said our sad farewells to Grace and left her apartment a little later than we'd planned (are
you sensing a pattern here) intending to go by Covenant and pick up books, but when I realized that we only had an hour and
a half until our flight left and we were just leaving Provo, I decided to skip my trip to Covenant (besides, I called and
my Chirstmas in Haggerty books weren't in anyway). Thank goodness for that because we would have surely missed our plane.
We arrived in Birmingham at 9:30 and Tommy was waiting to pick us up. It was a wonderful trip but it sure felt good to be
home! Tuesday started off better. My car was still on the street when I walked out. I was late getting
to my signing in Tooele - partly because I had gotten Map Quest directions that said it would take an hour - but at that time
I thought I'd be staying in Lehi instead of Provo - so I was behind before I even started. Then there were 3 wrecks on I-15.
But Latter-Day Books had a very nice group waiting for me when I got there - including one of my Hoffein cousins. The manager
had doughnuts and muffins and treated me like royalty. I went from there to South Towne, then to North Orem, South Orem,
American Fork and ended the day at East Bay. I was well-received at each store. After my signings I went back to Grace's
apartment (parked on the ROAD) and had to say goodbye to Jamie (again) - which was sad.
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September
28, 2006 - Everyone is well and all the tires have air - so we are making progress! I leave tomorrow for Salt Lake and I haven't
packed the first thing. Oh well, if I stay up all night maybe I can sleep on the plane instead of studying all my fellow-passengers
to see if anyone looks like a terrorist... My great uncle Jack Vann died last week and I had the opportunity to attend his
funeral. He lived a good, long life and had a lovely funeral service. Then he was buried in Headland, Alabama (the most wonderful place on earth). He now rests there with his wife, his parents,
a sister and many other ancestors. During the funeral service I looked around the room at the survivors. My great-grandparents
had nine children and all lived to adulthood. My aunt Edith died years ago of breast cancer, but the other eight have been
together until now. They are a truly remarkable group of people from another time - a better time. They vote and attend church
and contribute to worthy causes. They are frugal and plan for a rainy day. They not only know their neighbors -
they care about them. They are a credit to their generation and the world won't be as good a place when they leave
us. This
is going to be a disjointed entry (much like my mind at the moment). I was recently asked to write a short essay about 'the
most important thing I've learned." That was a difficult task, but I finally decided on the MOST important thing and
I'd like to share it with you. The Most Important Thing I’ve Learned Betsy Brannon Green I was asked to represent my decade, the fifties, and to describe the most important thing I’ve
learned (so far) in my life. Since I have obviously learned many, many things, it was hard to identify the most important.
But after some consideration this is what I’ve come up with. We’ve all heard the phrase “this, too, shall pass.” I believe that
within those words we can find a wealth of wisdom. My mother kept a journal for a few years while my father was in medical
school and it is a treasure to me. My mother died young and I love to read about the happy, healthy times of her life.
Following her example, I’ve kept a journal for many years and I hope that my children will enjoy reading it when I am
gone. It was while I was
reading through an old journal that I found my most important lesson. I read about cars that wouldn’t start, bills that
seemed impossible to pay, laundry that never got 'finished' and children with constant ear infections. But now the
cars I was worried about are in junkyards, the bills got paid somehow, the laundry still isn’t done and the children
can all hear. Time passes. The bad times won’t last forever and there are always good times to look forward to ahead.
That’s an important thing to know and cling to during hard times. But there’s another, more subtle lesson that
is even more important. That lesson is - the good times pass too. I read in my journal about my first date with the man who would eventually be my husband.
I read about the birth of each baby, their first days of school. The Easter dresses and Halloween costumes I made. The Christmases
and birthdays we shared. I read about ballgames and baptisms and graduations and weddings. Like the bad times, these wonderful
moments in my life have gone and endure only in memory. So the most important thing I’ve learned is that we must live each moment to the fullest. Endure
the bad times well and remember that they won’t last forever. But don’t take the good times for granted. They
won’t last forever either. September
14, 2006 - Butch has a cold and a flat tire - so he left his van and took mine to work. Tommy will go by Wal-Mart
to get a Fix-a-Flat between school and work. Emily and Andy have Youth Baptisms at the Temple tonight, it's also the night
the High Council and Stake Presidency and their wives are supposed to attend a session, Clay has football practice and a book
report due tomorrow. So in other words - it's a normal day at the Green household.
I'm working (finally) on my
Bull Frog Bend book and really enjoying it. My trip to Utah is only 2 weeks away and I look forward to seeing my western kids
and all the folks at the Murder Mystery Dinner.
Well, I'd better start writing before Tommy gets home and I have
to switch to car repair person... September 6, 2006
-Well, I finally have all my children mostly where they belong (Tommy and Andy are flying home at this very moment).
I miss Laura and Jamie and Grace - but I know they are where they need to be and I'm trying to be satisfied with that!
We took a very quick trip to the beach on the 26th of Sept (actually Butch couldn't come until the 27th because of
church responsibilities). The kids and I arrived late on Saturday and we all left on Tuesday morning. We had a great time,
but as I drove home I wondered if it had been a mistake to go. Since Jamie, Grace, Tommy and Andy were leaving for Provo on
Weds morning I felt like the beach trip rushed us and made them spend even more time in a car than absolutely necessary. But...
We spent Tuesday night washing clothes and packing and on Wednesday morning, they left. Ashley Bush (who is rooming
with Grace) and her mother, Donna, drove in a separate car (and luckily for Grace they let her ride with them since Jamie's
car was packed beyond capacity).
We never did really sit down with the Bushs and discuss the best route to take
(we were too busy driving to the beach and back). I've always driven through Nebraska and Wyoming and then back down into
Utah so that was the route Butch had mapped out. But Donna had gotten a very nice map printed by Triple A that had them going
on 70 through Colorado. Her brother had recently moved to Denver and had driven the same route without any problems. Donna
had to make the decision of which route to take in the middle of the night on Weds and she chose to follow the Triple A map.
They had a lot of minor delays (like Jamie having to stop often to sleep since he didn't trust Tommy to drive
and Grace driving the Bush's car and leaving Jamie behind). So they were already behind schedule when they left Denver. Once
they got into the mountains, the transmission in Jamie's car started having problems. He called me in a panic. He didn't even
know where they were - just somewhere in the Rocky Mountains. I told him to call his father and then tried to study the situation
out in my mind.
I could get into Tommy's car and start driving - but even if I was able to drive without stopping
for a break it would take me about 20 hours to get to them. So that wasn't much of a solution. I could try to find a town
close to where they were and have a tow truck go get Jamie's car. Then he could rent a car and drive on to Provo. But that
left his car stranded in the mountains. They could all get hotel rooms and stay with the car while we had it checked out -
but that was going to cost money and time and frankly - if the car needed a new transmission - we couldn't afford it anyway.
So when I knelt to pray - the only thing I could think of to ask for was if the Lord would heal the car. And that's
exactly what He did. When I talked to Butch he said he told them to check the transmission fluid level and let the car cool
off for a little while, then to start driving again. Jamie babied it (driving slow and put it down into 2nd gear when he had
to climb a steep incline) but he said very shortly after that they started downhil - which helped. It took forever (from a
worried mother's perspective anyway) and there were more challenges ahead (rain, road construction) but they did make it -
after almost 40 hours - in that car.
In retrospect (my favorite place) I wish they'd taken the northern route.
Maybe a flatter drive would have put less stress on the transmission and caused less problems (and taken less time). But the
whole experience reminded me that the Lord is real. He does hear and answer our prayers. Most of the time in life we can study
things out in our minds, ask for the Lord's guidance, and then work things out for ourselves. But sometimes, we have our backs
against the wall (or our children stranded on a remote mountain road) and there is nothing we can do for ourselves. We have
to depend totally on the Lord. And it's so wonderful to know that He is there.
August 24, 2006 - Where does the time go? 27 years ago right now I was in the Washington Temple,
kneeling across the altar from Butch for the first time. I don't feel any older than I did then - but occasionally I make
the mistake of looking in the mirror and get a reality check!!!
It's been so fun having Jamie home - even better
than I expected (and I had high expectations!!!) For the first few days he seemed hyperactive. He got up early (still on Swedish
time) and washed laundry, cleaned house - I was beginning to think aliens had taken over his body. But now he's back to normal.
He still likes to stay busy, but he's found other things besides laundry and cleaning to occupy his time!
I had
a moment the other day that brought things home to me. For the past 27 years we have struggled to read the scriptures daily.
(Really that struggle has only been going on for about the last 22 or so - since we had children old enough to read). We have
read 1st Nephi probably a thousand times. We start, we have good intentions, and then something happens to interupt the routine
and it's over - until the next time (usually right after General Conference). A few weeks ago Butch reinstituted the family
scripture reading. We're doing it right after the 2 seminary kids return in the morning and right before Butch has to leave
for work. We each read a column and don't worry about whether or not we finish a chapter (this used to be an issue since Butch
wanted to finish and that sometimes meant we read for a LONG time). So far it has been working well. But the other day while
I was sitting there listening to first one and then another of my children read from the scriptures I was overwhelmed with
tenderness for all of them. Soon two of them will be in Provo. Already two of my children aren't with us at scripture reading
- so I'll be down to half. And it made me wonder - for the past 27 years what have we been doing that was so important that
we couldn't take time out for this every day? Hearing their little voices read, then their maturing voices and finally, hoping
their voices are reading with their own children in their own homes? For any of you who are young and still have those years
ahead of you - I encourage you to try harder. I know it's not easy - but now I know that it is so worth the effort. And for
those of you, like me, who have let some time go by, I encourage you to try again. It's never too late.
Now, since
Jamie's not doing laundry any more - I guess I'd better do some!!!
August 16, 2006 - Jamie is
HOME!!! It is the most amazing thing. I thought he was wonderful when he left - but he's infinitely more wonderful now. A
mission is really the best investment a young man can make.
It was a little tricky getting him home because of
all the problems in London with terrorists. Butch called me on Thursday morning (Jamie was supposed to leave on Friday) and
asked if I'd seen the news. Of course I hadn't, but I turned it on and was SOOOO thankful that the terrorist plot was stopped
and that it all happened on Thurs instead of Friday. Since his flight from Stockholm left about 2:00 a.m. our time, I kept
the phone by my bed all night thinking he'd call me when he got to an airport. But I never heard anything.
We waited
until about 10:00 and then Butch said to call the Church travel office and see if they knew anything. I spoke to a girl there
who wasn't handling their trip. She couldn't even postively confirm that they had left Stockholm, but said she'd call back
and let me know. Butch told me just to call Jamie's mission president. So we made it two years without having to make that
call - and then on the day he was headed home, we had to. I had a nice conversation with President Karlson, though.
Jamie had left Stockholm and the president was sure they'd left London too, since he hadn't heard otherwise. So that was
a relief. I checked the British Airlines website and saw that his plane was way late leaving London - which meant he was going
to miss his flight from Chicago to Dallas and therefore his final flight from Dallas to Birmingham (I know - not the world's
best itinerary, but I digress).
I spent all day on the phone - trying to figure out how to get him home on Friday.
He finally called me from the Chicago airport. He had no American money and no phone card - so he hadn't been able to call
anyone. He said he was just about to panic when a member of the Church walked up to him and said, "Do you need to use
my cell phone?" So Jamie called home to tell me that he was going to make it to Dallas on Friday night - but no further.
He asked me to call the parents of his best friend - who is from here originally but now lives in Dallas. The Hogans picked
Jamie up (at midnight) and took him home and fed him and then had him back at the airport early the next day.
He
arrived here in Birmingham around noon - and he was a beautiful sight. We've enjoyed hearing about his mission experiences
and listening to his strange accent (sometimes we can't tell if he's speaking Swedish or English). It's going to be hard to
send him off in two weeks - but I know it's for the best. Have I mentioned that part of parenthood stinks????
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